I need help removing her.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
