They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
