he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
