Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
