this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
