she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
