My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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