so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
