Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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