Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
