I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
