Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My breasts were aching with rage.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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