Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
