Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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