you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
