never play flip cup with pint glasses
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
