I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize