And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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