Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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