Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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