So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
