she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
