Porn is love you can see.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize