Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
