I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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