I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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