I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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