I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
