normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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