before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
