You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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