He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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