Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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