I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
