the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
