Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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