Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
