we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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