Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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