Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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