so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize