Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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