Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
How's work?
Spinning.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
