New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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