i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
