Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
