The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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