The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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