Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
