why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
