don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
