i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
