Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize