he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
