i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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