My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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