he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
How naked do you want me to be?
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