K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
i now understand why vodka
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
