therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
